fleeting moments

Fleeting moments

of awareness

breathing life and touching another

A bird's flight,

A bee's song,

The howl of the wind.

A sunny breeze

carries the leaf

down down down

in swirls and jumps

free-falling to the ground

in brief journey's weightlessness

and far-reaching sight in spectacular color.

Carried on wings

Stabbing destiny

in this short interlude

eluding the void of forgotten boundaries,

harsh against

this instant

of sight

of life

of touch

of light

Before all changes yet again

Colliding with unknowable

on just one breath.

(c) 2017Iris B. Struller

Affairs

Affairs

Imagined or real; it never mattered.

The gossip alone

cracked sound marriage

Exposing mold teeming for years

Festering at last

visibly

within the children

gnawing structure and belief

dismantling

stronghold turned blind faith

clenching supposed support

in ideas and emotions and goals yet to be formed.

The mold

for years grotesque in its silence

sprung to the surface

in full awareness

And turmoil and defiance and utter despair

within young ones left alone

with their unvoiced questions

doubting

their own importance or sense of existence

Eviscerating any self-worth at all.

And yet

The cracked surface

is polished to gleaming

spouts of love

Alongside helplessness.

And sheer blindness schisms

the reality underneath.

(c) 2017 Iris B. Struller

untethered universe

I watch the universe expand on the tip of a pin, needing no space at all and having all the space it needs to capture the rumble of each droplet, the beat of its heart having suddenly become my very own.

And you, holding the hammer of cymballed music, cocoon this kaleidoscope of tender fury within the folds of my soul. 

I love you, you say, and my heart breathes a lullaby of untethered joy.

I follow the steps coloring my feet and skip nimbly along the path, your key clutched to my breast, right next to my heart.

(c) 2017 Iris B. Struller

the breath of life

The breath of life,

this give and take of mystery worlds unseen,

connects us all:

kin as kin,

without prejudice of any kind.

Think about it:

As you exhale, I might breathe in.

And your breath

becomes a part of me.

(c) 2016, 2017 Iris B. Struller

You

One, two, three, close your eyes and see where you are.  Look outward from your heart, inward from your eyes.  What do you perceive?

Right there, in the stillness of your breath lies your core, that beautiful rhythm breathing with life, pounding with love from above.  Keep looking and glimpse your essence, that glittering soul, concentrated and precious beyond words.

At its center, you'll again find you, fully anointed and serene in the knowledge of your existence, beautiful without adornment, pure in being.

You can be pleased:  you've created the perfect presence for the path you've chosen.

And the wind stirs a breeze, the softest caress onto your heart, and you'll rejoice knowing you are again touched by love.

(c) 2016, 2017 Iris B. Struller

rainbows

Rainbows' colors bleed to gray

Leave just a glint of gold array

The hope, the dream of something good

This expectation burnt in wood.

And still I look, I watch, I wait

For glor'ous moment yield to fate,

For just that chance: write in the sky

A moment's love, gone blurry by

Oh yes, I thrive on that belief

That beauty in the end will keep

Will never cast aside that thought,

That will, that faith, a marvel caught

Yet here I am another day,

Gleamed pretty rainbow blown away

And gray skies rumble round above

To tell once more of what is love.

(c) 2017 Iris B. Struller

A fretful mind

A fretful mind unstilled as yet

Can't pinpoint memory

Of old joy, pain held close to heart

And yet let go again.

Why can't I capture you anew

Old story lived through, kind?

Why won't you come back, visit me,

Return, for once, to mind?

Lived through the situation

That I now can't recall

Lived through and then forgotten

A friendly lie, that's all.

I'm old and gray, I know it well:

No secret it's of mine.

My memory is, however, faint

My story it won't find.

Again I stare into kind eyes

Beckoning me to speak,

To answer question braced at me

To tell my secret deep.

But can't recall, try as I might

To dig out memory.

This slip of mind, my constant friend

Why won't you bypass me?

Where did you go?

When did you leave?

Not able to recall.

It is as though I never lived,

Stumbled before the fall.

And still you stand in front of me,

Familiar eyes on me

You smile quite kindly, comforting,

Knowing what I can't see.

(c) 2017Iris B. Struller

Adirondacks

I sit on the dock

And watch the woman across the canal,

who's just claimed one of her newly purchased colorful Adirondack impostors,

placed on the stone terrace, recently finished,

around a fire pit

rarely used

in this Florida heat.

I toast her beer with my wine

across the canal

and compliment her on the work so nicely finished.

She claims, a few things still left to do,

I counter, nice to be done enough to enjoy.

She smiles behind glasses with friendly banter.

I return to my book and chilled glass of wine.

And her small beige dog stands still

to pee on a fresh patch of sod.

(c) 2017Iris B. Struller

a cucumber and radish

A cucumber and radish

Walked all along the sky

To paint the clouds bright yellow

And dance and jump quite high

A rainbow's slide to glory

In colors bright as sun

A morning's hope unfolded

A bucket full of fun

Sing Song in brilliant melody

Gush forth like waterfall

And fireflies abounded

Amidst sparks' glory gone

A day is done, the night's come in

And rest tucks shoulders tight

Child's slumber's quiet whispering

Till morning's blazing light.

(c) 2017 Iris B. Struller

a gray and misted morning

A gray and misted morning

Shines through the window blinds

And daunts me off the pillow

In whispers soft, unkind

Adrift in colors yet unseen,

Bright shouts in dull ears forming.

I don't know where I've been so far,

And can't see where I'm going.

Unfelt, unheard, unsung it plays,

A song within my mind:

Jarring and cautious melody

Wrung from God's hands to mine.

Still hollowed out within my soul

Stand walls too numb to feel.

They haunt with regularity,

Rhythmic, uneven keel.

The void is far and wide today

Yawns in my face anew

Pulls me into its depths so deep

Numbs me, my mind, to sleep.

It's here that I must start again,

Its sorrow calls my name.

This day! Now! Start anew! it pleads

Again again again.

I lift my head, succumbed its voice

Know it won't let me be.

Determined I must face my fears,

head on, unwavering.

Unworthy and Anxiety

Stand off with butcher's knife

A tug of war within my soul

maul, silent prayer, me.

God!

Will hope and strength and courage

onto my soul! To be!

Shred my old fears of emptiness

Of numbness so complete.

I lie and wait for change to come

This subtle shift within

to melt life's blood inside my veins,

make day worthwhile again.

But where to turn,

toward what light hidden within the burn?

My heart's aflame

My mind, a cane of straw to break

in whispers old and stern.

And still untold!

My story

Hidden from view so cruel

Torn from child's flesh buried within

Sweet cradle, black, untrue

And out of sight you've stayed again,

Stayed unbeknownst to me!

Yet still I search both high and low,

In damned wish to break free.

Oh leave me be!

To live or die, to love or not awhile

Torturous breath of air alone

This life nor love beguiled.

And mist settles so silently

Around my shoulders tight

A cloak I wear and wear it well

deep, far into this night.

(c)  2017Iris B. Struller